Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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