I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
