Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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