they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
