Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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