you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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