he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
