Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize