It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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