So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
