guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
