Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Found the puke drawer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
