i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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