Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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