Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
