I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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