mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How external is "for external use only"?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
