Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
