So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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