i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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