Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
