I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
