You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
