Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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