so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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