so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
