At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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