i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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