Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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