This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
