The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
