he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize