then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
