sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
