Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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