The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
