hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
