I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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