come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
