Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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