I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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