in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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