I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
