My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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