Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
