About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You ate ashes out of my bong
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
