I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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