I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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