I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you didnt know i had herpes?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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