I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
