Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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