I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's get the cat blown out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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