So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
