getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
