We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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