YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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