I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
