The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
