my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
