Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
