I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
